Gigs, Radio and blues oh my.

Good evening chaps.

So I'm in my favorite jazz-trou watching the complete scrubs DVD's that Lily got me for my Birthday.

Looking back over the last two weeks shenanigans, the increase in wedding related activities is becoming obvious. The date itself seems to be looming like a giant cake covered doom beast. The only thing more terrifying is the evil cuntasaurus that is the ever increasing bill.

But cover it up with a "fuck it" blanket, and its actually a laugh.

Going to a jewlers Looking at £600 paladium rings and then asking for a simple silver ring. Then watching the jewlers' face is fucking hilarious.

On the gigging front..

The inferno showcase was a resounding success, plenty of chums and punters, good music, lots of drinking and despite an attempt from a group of disgruntled Welshman. (disgruntled despite winning t'rugby, maybe its was because they couldn't tell which way up their silly flag should go...... How can you take a flag that has a giant lizard on what looks like a candle mint cake with a mouldy bottom on it seriously.) Casual racisim aside it was a good night. We've been asked back, were looking to do another show in Southampton, so brace your face. After a tasty session at Express FM with Gareth and Rich as Bemis at 12. I've been walking around Portsmouth and have been tired since 4pm so I'm going to bed. Night night Chunkland.

Sunday Cider

Morning Chaps,

Its Sunday, Prof Cox is on the box and i have a cider in my hand.
Blog Time!

I Should be recording my Ep today but I've had a bastard of a chest infection, so I talk and cough up lung cheddar like an 80 year old sailor.
 Lils(My Future Wife) is at work, working her notice before taking on a new Job at Marwell Zoo.The house is empty and in order to stave of the desperate act of masterbation as a form of boredom relief i should write this then sort out some song writing..

Last nights gig was a rather tasy peice, Despite the fact i had to leave a quater of the way through the Leather rats set.
Damn you Southwest trains! And Damn my reliance of your Steel Snakes!
Having to rush to Guildford was a bit different for me. Not being used to rush hour trains (owing to a deliberate attempt to avoid them at all costs) combined with all the Southampton fans going home to Winchester (yes i wrote that correctly) meant there was a High Cozzer to tosser ratio.

We had your usual Briefcase tosser, who thinks by looking at thier feet while they push past you, gives them the balls to shove people out the way. even if your holding the door open for them.
     The plus side of these Tossers is that they are easy to toy with. For example: A BT (as we shall call them) saw i was holding the door open for him, but looked down so he couldn't have to say thank you.
As he was going out of his way to be rude, i decided to rescind my offer and alowed the door to shut, because our chrome domed chum was so desperate to avoid saying thanks, he didnt notice the door had shut and run straight into it at full pelt.
(The sound of Balding Tosser upon Glass is most satisfying)

I was expecting more Football Tossers, but due to the cozzers the tossers cut back on their tossery other wise the constabulary would have something to say.

Having the usual "Whats that on your back" talk with drunk people was as usual a highlight to my fucking life. taking the time to point out the obvious to people id rather see under a train rather than sitting in it,next to me,going on and on and on when all i want to do is nothing..... is just swell.


The GiG was a jolly good laugh, the set went really well with Surry peeps singing along to Bemis originals.
Made a few new friends and had some reminising chats about festivals, especially the Magnificent Beautiful days.
Hopefully we'll be playing with these chaps again soon. odly enough all of the bands that played last night will be playing at Bearded Theory. one a day like a spread of musical jam on the Toast of Derbyshire.

Mmm Music toast.

As i mentioned before the only thing to sully the evening for me was having to leave early.
Balls

Big shout out to :
Leather Rat
True Decievers
Stevie one man one mandolin

Cracking Gig, Cracking Group of chaps.

Well im off to wee. and keep my self .....busy.

Cheeio

Chunks

The journey home

Evening all.

Well that was a bit shit!! I'm back on the train with a stinking headache after a shit Sweetchunks set, followed by a good Bemis set.

On arrival at the Festing AKA another pit of Portsmouth grade despair, I tried looking for the entrance for the birdcage, (Cunningly hidden round the back by the ladies lavs). Everyone in the pub looking at me like I was a walking turd, some hunched over old codger still wearing his navy hat like its an act like a cunt with no consequence card, called me a twat.

I'm not that miffed, as the shit stain on the underpants of England that is Portsmouth, is populated buy self serving opinionated rat people, so self obsessed, inbred and deluded by some misplaced sence of entitlement and grandiose magnificence, That they would shit in they're own back garden if it was closer than the toilet, Rob thier cousin after fucking them. While screaming "Play up Pompey!" At the top of thier rat lungs.

To simply know that they are stuck there, like the juice at the bottom of a bin, like AIDS in a Petri dish like a rats feeding of a refuse dump...

That thought alone gives me the joy to carry on when I visit that vile used tampon that is Portsmouth.

(That and the old twat at the bar had crippling arthritis)

Remember kids, cunts join the army too.

Without exception all of my portmouth friends ahave left,are leaving or regularly out of the city.

This is aimed at those sad fucks who think the world ends at petersfield.

Back to the gig

My New stomp box tried to emulate its fore fathers by sliding round the stage like a greasy bastard. Causing me to prance like a fucking ballerina trying to hit the little shit.

I shall invest in gaffer tape in future.

And when I was trying to start 10,000,000 slaves the little spewtum flipped over and made a lovely feedback whine.

Could have gone better better, but the harmonies on Drunken sailor and wildrover recovered the night.

The Bemis set went well, and were all excited about tomorrow. Roll on Guilford.

I guess I'd give more of a toss about the gig. If we weren't playing to an empty room.

XD

Cheers chaps

Chunks

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

late again Mr Chunks?

Here I am, on a fold out chair pressed against a train door, on a train bound for Portsmouth.

Seeing as I have 40 minuets to spare I may as well catch up on my blog.

It's.been a few weeks since the last one and thi.he are going well.

I say well, what I.mean is FUCKING AWESOME! (horay my new phone has that caplocked in my dictionary, apart from carpet bombing my text with full stops, this.New phone isn't as wank as I first thoyght..)

Anyway, apart from the theft of my beloved iPhone 4, all is well.

I'm moving on, seeing other phones but no one gets my like my iphone did. I guess I'm being unfair to my new HTC explorer, i jumped straight into a new phone without having closure. I guess ill always be comparing her to the Colonel (yes I named my phone after my Cock, and yes my john Thomas has a rank. Bite me)

I suppose we'll have fun, but in my heart of hearts I know that when my contract comes up for upgrade, I'm dumping this bitch and gonna get some fine apple to bite awwwwwn playa'

I could talk about the actual theft but it makes me so mad I want to flip tables. As the only tables available are bolted to the ground, ill pass so I don't end up looking like the preverbial twat.

In other news my last few Sweetchunks gigs have been like crack, both times being informed by strangers that I was better than the main acts. So wheeeeeeee to me!

Playing at the firehouse was very special to me, with both a brilliant responce from a strange crowd, but also a big show of support from nearly all of my drinking chums from the Firehouse. (nothing quite like playing to your local, a full local singing along, clapping and asking for an encore. Chalk up my first ever encore).

Big thanks to Everyone in "Back to Nothing" who invited me along and a massive thanks to Tom "Teddy" Godphrey who put me up.to it.

We will be back at the firehouse soon!

Anyways my train journey is nearly over. So is this blog I shall finish in part two

"the journey home"

Ta Ta

Chunks

P.s if your wondering why the speeeliing is rubbish, there are millions of fullstops, "My" where there should be "Me" it is because blogging on an HTC using android is purest cack!
That is all

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

My Bro played Banjo at inferno!

Greetings chaps!

Forgive the pop culture reference title. Ive been "hanging" with nerds, and it's wearing off.
The more I learn the various memes and Internet videos, the more I understand and join in with my chums nerdish games.
But unfortunately the more i understand.The less I make sense to my lovely future wife.

Speaking of wifery*, I have decided to mark the countdown to next June's festivities with a terror threat style warning system:

Bride condition:
Black (Everything is shit!! We can't afford it!)

Groom condition:
Blueish green: (maybe the reception should have a bouncy castle for the adults)


Over the past week myself and a Mr Jack "Mr Darcy" Searle, have been Jamming out some ideas as a Folk/Chap-hop group (think the Dubliners mixed with Mr B)

Possible genre names:
Chalk-hop
Cholk-hop
Folk-hop
Fap-hop

It was exciting stuff as it is genuinely something new. (When we get some stuff recorded I shall post links).
This could end up as just a bit of fun,but I do believe we have something giggable. Either way watch this space crackers!

Gig reports:
Rma: met up with some old chums, josie, Dan, Brad and Dave Gentle, who I haven't seen in literally close to a decade. Who was a jolly good laugh, (just as I remember) and many congrats on him qualifying as a Nurse. Looking forward to our next meeting.
Bumping into the Bennett brothers was a pleasure. Got drunk and caught up with Dan, then got very Drunk with Brad and reminisced.
I had completely forgotten how much joy it brings me watching Brad's appearance scare the shit out of people who don't know him.
Imagine watching a giant moustachioed Skinhead, boisterously introducing himself to a Dickensian looking student with the defence capabilities of a brandy snap.
Then imagine that the Dickensian brandy snap has the look of a man who has seen his own rape filled death on his face.
Brad is of course a gentleman, and one of my dearest old friends. But seeing him unintentionally bringing brown trousers to the middle class, brings joy to my heart.

The gig itself was a bitt naff, as usual Nick Courtney chewed up the sound of my banjo then turned it to a nearly inaudible volume. But it went well do I can't complain to much.

One thing that sticks in my mind is the last act who were a full prog band that included a nest of keyboards. Being played one hand per keyboard.
At the time (as I was as pissed as an Lord) I thought it was awesome.
I was reliably informed that my opinion may have been influenced by the amount of cider I had consumed.

Drift bar last Sunday was a good laugh, my only complaint was having to wait for an hour for a drunk guy (i can only assume) playing covers (questionably) before me. When everyone else had a half hour set.
It was a nice mix of Music and the promotor was not only present (yeah I know freaky) but was a thoroughly nice chap. The set up was good and I look forward to playing there I'm the future and working with those chaps in the future.
Side note if you want to add excitement to a gig, Just add a drunk raving Scotsman to the front row. I couldn't understand him but altleast it was possitive Celtic rambling.

Finally a big shout out to friends old and new at Inferno in Bournmouth.
As usual a lovely gig with reassuringly growing support. Unfortunately I missed brothers Grimmer AGAIN! But I had to head home as my betrothed had work in the morning and she was driving.
Harpin in played like tasty blues bitches. This has caused excitement for a future blues showcase I'm organising with them. Stay tuned!!

Ta ta chaps
"Chunks"

Harpin' on, great blues band from inferno, soon to be featuring as part of a blues showcase at the inferno Febuary 25th.
http://www.harpin-on.co.uk/

The silhouettes, my chum Brads Band:
http://www.myspace.com/thesilhouettesuk





*no it's not a word but I like it! It's like midwifery with out nurses or screaming sprogs!

Silver Haired Leviathan!

Greetings Chaps!

Again it's late and again I'm blaming it on Hitler!

So on Weds the 30th I played my first Bemis Gig. I shat the proverbial brick as it was a month earlier than we had originally planned.
Oh well, Into the Breach Dear Friends!
So anyway the gig itself was a night of firsts for me as a performer:
First use of a Green room.
First time having bandmates and not being Billy no mates in the corner, waiting for my friends to arrive.
First night of a promoter buying all my drinks! (this was a first most dear to my heart)
First night to sign an album (that i might add had nothing to do with, but fuck it! one is an attention slut)
First night to perform where someone else has to worry about all of the attention and the Lyrics.

Being a bassist or any other ist for that matter is much more relaxing than being a soloist*. It ws nice to just get on with the gig and just have fun. Let Gareth do all the hard work ill just sit back and relax. (and pull faces).

Despite new band jitters and playing like a numpty (hey I'm new) it was a cracking little gig to play, we got into a nice groove and (despite my spaz like memory) we gelled really well. The Highlight of the gig was having Dave Pegg and PJ Wright come up and join us on the Bands's# "The Wieght".

 Dave Pegg and PJ Wright (who were the headliners) were like silver haired leviathans who crushed all in their way! Ie: Played fantastic folky Gems, a few Fairport Convention and some Jethro Tull numbers. We were also regaled with some nuggets of story telling gold from Tours Past and we were also informed that Ian Anderson is a Tight-fisted twat! (Being an empirical person I shall have to meet him and try borrowing money off of him. Don't worry I shall keep you informed of my investigations.)

Getting drunk, playing folk music,watching folk music, Chatting With Folk Playing Legends, Signing stuff, posing for photos and Drinking more. A good table of contents for a thoroughly good evening.
may there be many more like it!

Ta ta
'Chunks

PJ and Peggy:
http://folking.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/a-night-off-with-pj-peggy-%E2%80%93-uk-tour/

Bemis:
http://www.bemisland.com/

*Not that being a solo doesn't have its bonuses... not having to worry about paying for laxatives for one.

# for my younger readers The Band are and actual Band.But the idea of a band to be called The Band is very confusing. for example when discussing a band like The Band, The phrase The Band may be in reference to another Band besides The The Band, to avoid confusing The Band With another Band I would suggest using the name of the Band and not the Band,unless The Name of the Band does itself  become a Band Name but that could be shortened to TNOTB, a problem with this of course is if it is read quickly that could be mistaken for KNOB(a finnish punk band).
The Band are in fact a very good Band and some would say the the Band are a definitive example of a Band hence the name; The Band.
Some would also say this joke is cheap and it has gone on to long so i shall stop it now